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How to Tell a Team Member They Aren’t Performing

How to Tell a Team Member They Aren’t Performing

October 1, 2025

Most leaders would rather face a hostile board meeting than tell a valued team member their performance is falling short. Yet every day you delay this conversation, the problem compounds—team morale erodes, productivity suffers, and what could have been a coaching opportunity transforms into a termination decision.

Key takeaways

  • Address performance issues immediately rather than waiting for problems to escalate into formal disciplinary processes
  • Use structured feedback models like SBI or CEDAR to deliver specific, observable, and fact-based feedback that avoids personal judgments
  • Frame conversations as collaborative problem-solving sessions focused on future improvement, not past failures
  • Involve employees in creating their own improvement plans to increase ownership and accountability
  • Document serious performance issues through formal Performance Improvement Plans to protect both the employee and the business

Addressing underperformance is not an HR task to delegate—it’s a core leadership responsibility that requires directness, empathy, and strategic thinking. When handled skillfully, these difficult conversations become powerful catalysts for growth, transforming struggling employees into high performers while protecting your business from the exponential costs of inaction.

Address it early—don’t wait for a crisis

The most damaging mistake leaders make is procrastination. Waiting until performance issues reach crisis levels is unfair to everyone involved and exponentially more expensive for your organization.

Early intervention prevents the shock and defensiveness that inevitably occur when employees discover their performance has been silently judged as inadequate. If someone believes their work is acceptable, confronting them months later with accumulated grievances will feel like an ambush. This approach destroys trust and makes improvement far more difficult.

Instead, build performance conversations into your regular management rhythm. The most effective approach involves:

  • Weekly one-on-ones that include performance check-ins alongside project updates
  • Real-time feedback when you observe concerning behaviors or outcomes
  • Monthly reviews of key performance indicators and goal progress

How to tell an employee they are not meeting expectations becomes much easier when it’s part of continuous feedback rather than a dramatic revelation. By the time you’re considering a formal Performance Improvement Plan, you’ve likely waited too long for effective intervention.

Prepare with facts using a structured feedback model

Your credibility and the conversation’s effectiveness depend entirely on your ability to separate observable facts from personal opinions or emotional reactions. Structured feedback models provide the framework necessary to deliver clear, objective, and legally defensible performance conversations.

1. The SBI model for direct, factual feedback

The SBI (Situation-Behavior-Impact) model strips away ambiguity and personal interpretation, focusing purely on what can be observed and measured. This approach protects both you and the employee by creating a factual foundation for the discussion.

The structure: “In [Situation], I observed you did [Behavior], and the Impact on the team/project was…”

This framework forces you to be specific rather than relying on vague generalities. Compare these approaches:

Ineffective approach: “You don’t take ownership and your attitude needs improvement.”

SBI approach: “In yesterday’s client presentation (Situation), you didn’t have the Q4 data ready (Behavior), which undermined our credibility and forced us to schedule a follow-up meeting (Impact).”

The SBI model gives the employee concrete information they can act upon rather than subjective judgments they might dispute.

2. The CEDAR model for a coaching-based conversation

When the goal is collaborative problem-solving rather than directive feedback, the CEDAR (Context-Examples-Diagnosis-Actions-Review) model creates space for genuine dialogue and shared ownership of solutions.

This five-step framework works as follows:

  1. Context: Set the stage for why the conversation is happening
  2. Examples: Provide specific, factual instances that illustrate the concern
  3. Diagnosis: Explore root causes together rather than imposing your interpretation
  4. Actions: Create a plan the employee helps design
  5. Review: Establish accountability through scheduled follow-up meetings

CEDAR works particularly well when you suspect the performance issues stem from systemic problems, skill gaps, or external factors rather than attitude or effort problems.

3. The Stop-Keep-Start model for clear, action-oriented feedback

The Stop-Keep-Start framework provides immediate clarity about what needs to change while also recognizing what’s working well. This balanced approach prevents the conversation from feeling entirely negative.

  • Stop: Specific behaviors or approaches that are ineffective and must cease
  • Keep: Strengths and positive contributions that should continue
  • Start: New behaviors or approaches that will drive improvement

This model works exceptionally well because it provides a complete roadmap rather than just pointing out problems.

How to have effective performance conversations using structured feedback
How to have effective performance conversations using structured feedback

Frame the conversation for problem-solving, not accusation

The tone you establish in the first thirty seconds will determine whether this becomes a productive coaching session or a defensive confrontation. Your framing must signal genuine concern and curiosity rather than frustration or judgment.

Begin with an open, supportive approach: “I’ve noticed a few things have been a bit off lately. I’d like to understand what’s been going on and how I can support you.” This language invites dialogue rather than triggering defensive responses.

Listen more than you speak during the initial phase. Employees often reveal the real issues when they feel safe rather than attacked. These insights are crucial for crafting an effective improvement plan and building trust in the workplace.

Language to avoid:

  • “You always miss deadlines”
  • “You never ask for help”
  • “Your performance is unacceptable”
  • “I’m disappointed in you”

Language to use:

  • “I’ve observed a pattern where…”
  • “Help me understand what’s happening with…”
  • “What support do you need to succeed?”
  • “Let’s figure out how to move forward”

Remember that most performance issues have root causes beyond simple motivation or effort. How to handle an underperforming employee effectively requires understanding whether you’re dealing with a knowledge gap, a capacity problem, a clarity issue, or a genuine motivation challenge. Sometimes poor performance stems from workplace toxicity or burnout prevention needs that leadership must address.

Collaborate on a solution to drive ownership

The transition from problem identification to solution development is where most performance conversations either succeed or fail. Simply telling someone what they need to do differently rarely creates lasting change.

After discussing the specific issues, ask for their perspective first:

  • “How would you suggest moving forward?”
  • “What do you think would help you succeed in this area?”
  • “What obstacles are preventing you from meeting these expectations?”
  • “What resources or support would make the biggest difference?”

This approach, known as Feedforward, focuses energy on future actions rather than dwelling on past mistakes. When employees participate in creating their improvement plan, they develop ownership of the solution and are more likely to identify practical obstacles and realistic timelines.

Be specific about the support you’ll provide. This commitment might include:

  • Additional training or skill development opportunities
  • Regular coaching sessions or mentoring
  • Temporary workload adjustments during the improvement period
  • Access to new tools, resources, or team members
  • Clearer processes or documentation

Employee feedback is most effective when it comes with concrete commitments from leadership, not just expectations placed on the employee. Document these commitments clearly so both parties leave the conversation with a written summary of expectations, support, and review timelines.

Formalize the plan for clarity and accountability

When performance issues are significant or ongoing, informal agreements aren’t sufficient. A formal Performance Improvement Plan provides structure, legal protection, and clear accountability measures for both parties.

A well-designed PIP is a tool for success, not a prelude to termination. Implementing an effective performance management system ensures these plans are structured for maximum impact. Essential PIP components:

  1. Clear, measurable objectives: Replace vague goals like “improve communication skills” with concrete benchmarks like “respond to client emails within 24 hours” or “provide weekly status updates to team members.”
  2. Realistic timelines: Most PIPs span 60-90 days, allowing sufficient time for meaningful change while maintaining urgency.
  3. Specific support commitments: Detail exactly what training, coaching, mentoring, or resource access the organization will provide.
  4. Regular check-in schedule: Establish weekly or bi-weekly meetings to monitor progress and make adjustments.
  5. Clear consequences: Specify what recognition or opportunities will follow success, and what next steps will occur if standards aren’t met.

Most importantly, treat the PIP as a living document. Regular reviews allow you to celebrate progress, address new challenges, and modify goals based on changing circumstances. This flexibility increases the likelihood of success while maintaining accountability. The benefits of performance management systems become evident when PIPs are integrated into broader organizational performance frameworks.

Documentation best practices: Keep detailed records of all conversations, agreed-upon goals, support provided, and progress made. This protects both the employee and the organization while ensuring consistency in your approach.

Confronting underperformance requires courage, preparation, and genuine commitment to your team member’s success. The conversation may be uncomfortable, but avoiding it is far more costly—to productivity, team morale, and ultimately to the struggling employee who deserves clear guidance rather than silent judgment.

Tell an employee they are not meeting expectations effectively comes down to three core principles: address issues early before they become crises, use structured feedback models to ensure clarity and objectivity, and collaborate on solutions that the employee helps create. When you combine directness with genuine support, these difficult conversations become powerful opportunities for growth and development.

The best leaders don’t just celebrate high performers—they actively develop them through honest, caring, and strategic performance conversations. Your willingness to have these tough discussions, done well, separates exceptional leaders from those who merely manage. Understanding what employees hate in leaders and addressing performance issues with empathy and structure helps create an ideal workplace environment where all team members can thrive.

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